I went looking for reaction to the Carl’s Jr. flat buns commercial and I found it in all the usual places: on YouTube, in a million blogs, on 267,000 Google sites, and it’s all pretty much the same. It has deeply offended teachers – underpaid classroom kid cops – vs. about 10 million morons who are happily running along with the times. And these times are one big gross-out joke. Only nobody seems to notice that gross-out jokes falter when all of society adopts nose-picking as the very height of humor. Don’t worry, I’m not going to scream about the coming idiotcracy. It’s too late for that. Besides, we now live in a post-intellectual world of bloggers and self-made video artists, a world that has adopted behaviors and attitudes developed in the prison system. Tom Leykis dedicated his Wednesday afternoon show to this, taking on a Tennessee teachers’ rep who may have been under the impression that he wasn’t going to be speaking to a man who makes a living entertaining morons with tales of predatory females. Naturally, Leykis had nothing against the commercial because Leykis knows exactly what his audience wants to hear. Listener reaction pretty much matched the “Like, dude!” YouTube comments. A teacher grinding away is cool and sexy and she had great buns, not flat buns, and all this was expressed with the usual mangled diction that left the poor sap from Tennessee speechless. This while Leykis hammered away at the number of teachers convicted of having sex with students. I found 56 on the Internet out of 2.6 million teachers working in the U.S. It’s not excusable, but it’s not an epidemic, either. But it is inordinately interesting to us when nice-looking, young female teachers have it off with young male students. Far from being offended, the male reaction is often, “How come I was never that lucky?” And maybe the boys are lucky. At least they are in a fantasy world where sex, no matter what a child’s age and as long as it doesn’t involve young girls and male predators, is always good. Meanwhile, a spokesman for the burger chain claimed that the spot “is meant to be funny, silly, interesting and not a social statement.” Now consider the national outrage over Mary Kay Letourneau, Pamela Smart and all the others. Was it funny and silly to see these women hauled up in court as their families cringed? Meanwhile, the flat-buns kids rap cleverly, “Got no hiney? I call you Your Highness. In anatomy class, you got a butt-minus.” Sure, it’s just a commercial, a bit of flummery bound to vanish without a trace. And maybe tomorrow, in a land where we can no longer extend Christmas wishes, we’ll have a commercial with naughty priests gyrating for cheering altar boys. C’mon, priests got hiney, too. And what does it matter if female teachers, the front-line soldiers in a losing war on ignorance, get even less respect? It’s funny and silly and not a social statement at all because a hired burger joint flack says so.160Want local news?Sign up for the Localist and stay informed Something went wrong. Please try again.subscribeCongratulations! You’re all set! In short, who cares that Carl’s Jr. – the burger chain that somehow made Paris Hilton look sexy – is now causing a stir with a 30-second spot featuring a teacher gyrating stripper-style at the front of her classroom while a pair of nightmare white hip-hopsters shoot retarded gang signs and sing about flat buns. Flat buns, this is so clever, are a type of white bread product used in the chain’s dead cow sandwiches. Get it? Only the woman playing the teacher doesn’t have flat buns. What she has are reclining pelvic thrusts and lots of hair-tossing and butt swishing. More than one teachers organization is unhappy because the thing might encourage yet more disrespect in war-zone classrooms. I, for one, take this as yet another sign that the women’s movement never happened. After all the years of “I’m a woman, not a girl,” we have flat buns and an entire segment of the music business dedicated to misogyny. It’s all boy fantasy. And suddenly I’m wondering where all those humorless feminists are when we most need them. For that matter, where are their daughters, the ones who got the benefits of some hard-won rights and who now seem to silently conform to the rampant sex-object disrespect.